I Wish He Would Anton-less

Inescapable pop producer Jack Antonoff abruptly ended an interview with the Dutch publication NRC this week after being asked whether he was contributing to Taylor Swift's forthcoming album, The Tortured Poets Department.

You can ruin pop music OR have a bad attitude. Not both! pic.twitter.com/kCauWW6QCH

— jenneth goulet (@kennyroysgrammy) March 26, 2024

The interview was ostensibly tied to Antonoff's own music as frontman of the band Bleachers. Their self-titled fourth album was just released, opening at No. 62 on the Billboard Hot 100 and satiating the tastes of those who were hoping for another Bruce Springsteen record before he went back out on tour.

Swift's collaboration with Antonoff certainly put him on the map beyond "that guy from Steel Train" (if you're a specific type of record freak), "that guy in fun., right?" or "Lena Dunham's boyfriend." He's co-written and produced songs on her last six albums (starting with 1989) and all of her re-recorded albums. He's since worked with a murderer's row of well-respected, mostly female artists (Lana Del Rey, Lorde, St. Vincent, Carly Rae Jepsen, The Chicks) and has won three Grammy Awards for Producer of the Year, Non-Classical - as many as Quincy Jones, David Foster or Pharrell Williams.

I can see why Antonoff would bristle at being asked about Swift while promoting his own, respectably received work. But you don't just work with one of the most famous people on the planet and expect not to be asked about it (unless, of course, your publicist has asked that writers not do that) - and you, ideally, don't dismiss the ask as "clickbait."

Ultimately, it's my hope that the writer (who I'm sure is pleasant and, as a European, probably nonplussed at Antonoff getting so testy) at least did the classic move I was taught in journalism school: saving the controversial question for last, just in case your access is cut off as such. With that in mind, I'd like to share with you a list of 10 questions I would save for the end of an interview with pop's most ubiquitous guy.

• You look like you're afraid of bees. Are you? It's OK, we can smell our own.

• Your production discography is incredible. Why, then, are you so bad (at best) or disinterested (at worst) at talking about the creative process? Have you even read a single issue of Musician?
• Recently, you got weird about a journalist's line of questioning. Did you learn that from Lana?
• Has the question of "stylist" ever come up?

• Seriously, has it? What's in the bag?

• You've talked a lot about fair practices for artists. Does that include the obnoxious trend of putting parts of your albums on different editions or hard-to-find formats? Or is it OK because your friend Taylor does it, too?

• Were you really mad about Dimes Square, or an article you read about Dimes Square?
• For the love of God, can you explain this cover?

• Would you set the record straight on whatever this was about?

• Your hero, Bruce Springsteen, guested on one of your albums. Have you discussed producing anything of his? (This would only cause an abrupt ending by my reaction of a sigh of relief or groan.)

Thanks for your time, Jack. I look forward to never interviewing you, and you never hanging up on me.