Notes from Five Hundred

Among the most basic searches I first performed on the Internet—probably not long after "Nintendo"—was "music." That very untrained sensibility for what made a great keyword quickly met a very savvy URL that affected my life in more ways than one: Allmusic.com.

Longtime Internet denizens no doubt know Allmusic for its encyclopedic bios and capsule reviews, savvily licensed to streaming music services and other places in the early crossover days of the World Wide Web and traditional brick-and-mortar media consumption. (I remember seeing their words on those listening kiosks at FYE locations in the mall.) Of course, I was reading them on our family desktop before then. A major inflection point on my life was reading the (since-updated) bio of my beloved Billy Joel, which started with the phrase "Although Billy Joel was never a critic's favorite..." With an ear shaped entirely by adult-contemporary radio stations of the New York metro area, this assertion seemed transmitted from a foreign world—but it would also prompt me to explore how music was received in different places and times, leading me toward the person that you know today. (I have been extensively lucky to have gotten to tell that bio's author, the site's former senior editor Stephen Thomas Erlewine, what effect these and other bios had on my understanding of music; I am luckier still to count him one of my most treasured writer friends—a sounding board about the vagaries of music catalogue affairs and a mutual celebrant of writing while parenting.)

I could not have imagined that, decades later—as my full-time employment with a creative agency was coming to an end, and with twins coming to our family—I would be penning bios of my own for this venerated hub of pop. I have been consistently writing for Allmusic for just over two years, covering everything from new pop and death metal to hip-hop in other languages and contemporary classical. Beyond the steady gig work (an appreciated thing, for sure!), I have sharpened my skills, offering speed, clarity and variety in my editorial portfolio. Just a few weeks ago, I penned my 500th Allmusic bio, surely no mean feat, and felt that now is as good a time as any to look back with affection.

Before you peruse these acts—all artists I found memorable and unique as much as writing I am proud of—I must finally give a shout-out to my editors, Neil Z. Yeung and Tim Sendra. I am so grateful for the work you put in and am so lucky to be even a small part of this!

Alex E.T.: "Bright, jangly guitarist comes into her own after more than a decade of indie art projects." I realize the optics of starting with someone partially named E.T., but she also reminded me a lot of Hatchie, another artist I can't get enough of. So this was a fun treat!

Big Hit: "The father of hip-hop producer Hit Boy has a story to tell." It's always a treat to find unexpected stories tied to people whose names or work I'm familiar with, and this was a really good one.

Cecilia Castleman: "Throwback, mellow pop/rock from a studied singer/songwriter." When you read press bios, it's very interesting to discover what might get obscured from an artist's narrative. Castleman's music is deeply appealing to me, but you don't get produced by Don Was out of nowhere, and I enjoyed pointing out (objectively, I think) that it was probably no accident, given her family connections.

Lyn Christopher: "Obscure ‘70s singer whose unlikely classic rock and hip-hop connections made her sole album a collector’s item." A fun one aided by The Second Disc's posting history! You can absolutely hear the classic rockers in question on those tracks.

Coco & Breezy: "Twin sisters who have parlayed success as fashion designers into a lively dance music career." One of the first bios I wrote, and one that clicked once I realized I'd heard of this duo for non-musical reasons.

Cold Diamond & Mink: "The house band for Timmion Records, a retro-soul label from the least likely of countries, Finland." Maybe my favorite sub(micro?)genres: label house bands, and inconceivable white guys being funky and/or soulful.

Kyle Coulahan: "Championed by a legendary Nashville producer, this Florida-born singer/songwriter is as country as they come." The producer in question is Chips Moman, which feels like one of those "Charlie Chaplin could've seen Star Wars" type scenarios.

George Daniel: "Key figure of the 2010s U.K. pop/rock scene, as the drummer for the 1975 and producer for Charli xcx, the Japanese House, and others." This is not something one would put in such a bio—I don't think it even happened when I wrote it—but I've written about one of the two main people cited in the worst Taylor Swift song.

The Dark Tenor: "Theatrical crossover singer combines hard rock lyricism with centuries of classical melodies." I mean, how do you not have fun with this guy?

Die Schlagerpiloten: "German schlager group blends carefree popcraft with an equally lighthearted presentation." Schlager is one of those genres that might not make sense to the average American listener. I don't know if this explains it any better, but...just look at these fits!!

Ekko Astral: "Urgent, catchy punk quintet effectively thrashes against the inanity and cruelty of life in the 21st century." I wrote this and thought, "hey, these guys are cool," and then realized they actually are cool, even if I'm not sure what's going on with them right now.

Zac Farro: "Prolific drummer best known as a co-founder, former and current member of Paramore." He's done a lot, but that's obviously the big one, and "current and former" was too funny not to put in that exact cadence.

Catrin Finch: "A dynamic harpist who came to unique prominence as a royal appointee." England just does stuff very differently, as you'll read.

Elliott Fullam: "Singer/actor/vlogger who has parlayed an online love of rock into a burgeoning musical career." "Kid interviewing rock stars" (OK, I'm with you) "who makes quiet, sensitive music" (hmm, interesting) "and is also in two Terrifier movies" (wait, what).

Glass Beams: "Australian trio with a nearly anonymous lineup blends psychedelic rock and Indian influences." Two of my favorite things to write about are "mysterious" bands and acts mashing up disparate styles of music, and this early bio was the best of both worlds.

Ophelia Gordon: "Amidst personal struggles, this concert pianist finds inspiration in unexpected compositions." Her story was unlike 99% of the classical-adjacent artists I write about, and I found hers compelling (along with the music).

Brody Grant: "An acclaimed musical adaptation of a popular novel launches its star to overnight success." It's cool to see not one but two adaptations of The Outsiders establishing promising entertainers.

Friedrich Gulda: "Maverick Austrian pianist who transitioned from classical piano to avant-garde jazz in sometimes ostentatious fashion." Classical and jazz need more guys like this one.

Audrey Hobert: "Emerging songwriter scores a crossover pop hit with childhood friend Gracie Abrams before starting her own solo career." She's pretty interesting; that's so true.

Ìxtahuele: "Swedish ensemble who bring the '50s exotica style into a new era thanks to some surprise musical discoveries." Another peculiar European genre-bender with a story I just found fascinating.

Maddie Jay: "Gifted Canadian bassist who runs the gamut from acid jazz to bedroom pop." I'll take any and all excuses to say, "Hey, Winnetka Bowling League!" in the process.

Jutes: "Juno-nominated Canadian artist equally comfortable in hip-hop and punky alt-rock." Demi Lovato deserves happiness!

Caroline Kingsbury: "Artist whose emotional, upbeat synth pop songs are built to dazzle." Kingsbury has the distinction of being the only artist I've ever been assigned an Allmusic bio whom I later met, after she opened for Pom Pom Squad. I told her I wrote this bio; she did not know what the site was. Keeps me humble!

Liquid Mike: "The great Midwestern hope of 2020s alt-rock and power pop." While I did not follow Liquid Mike's rise in real time, I really value the way it happened, and count them as maybe my favorite of all the groups I've written bios for.

Wyatt C. Louis: "Canadian singer/songwriter’s evocative folk is illuminated by their indigenous heritage." I've had the pleasure of covering a nonzero amount of Native rock acts, and I've loved everything I've heard. The best music writing assignments take you to places you wouldn't expect to end up on your own.

Robin McAuley: "Journeyman Irish hard rock vocalist who has collaborated with everyone from Michael Schenker to enigmatic German producer Frank Farian." This dude is like AOR Zelig. I was sold immediately.

Moody Joody: "Part alt-rock, part pure pop, all catchy music from this rising, female-fronted Nashville trio." The whole time I was putting this together, I kept thinking, "Don't forget them." "Ground Control" knocks me on my ass! Hit play right now!

Rob Mounsey: "A constant name in liner notes in the '70s, '80s, and beyond, renowned for his colorful string arrangements on countless pop records." The constant through line of my career is "liner notes guys," and Mounsey is probably the most popular one I've been lucky to write a bio for. I mean, look at this guy's credits!

Mourning Noise: "Cult heroes of the same early-‘80s horror-punk scene that birthed the Misfits." That the same town birthed two specifically similar bands at the same time—but only one had a Danzig—is one of those facts that makes me have to get up and pace for 10 minutes if I think about it too long.

Mr. Hurley & Die Pulveraffen: "German siblings set sail with cheerful, pirate-themed folk-rock outfit." I've written about a lot of weird gimmicky hard-rock bands, but I have to respect the ones who pretend to be actual pirates more than most.

Nemahsis: "Captivating, lo-fi alternative pop singer raised in Canada but rooted in Palestine." The artists are doing the important work. I just write about it.

Kalani Pe’a: "Modern trailblazer of Hawaiian music who has earned critical acclaim (and set a Grammy record) with his body of work." I caught this guy on at least one Grammy pre-broadcast awards ceremony—where most of my interest about music's biggest night lies—before I wrote this. It's nice to have found out he was as interesting as his appearance indicated.

ratbag: "New Zealand multimedia artist who mixes grungy soundscapes and surreal, horror-inspired images." You've got a multi-disciplinary art aesthetic and you're Antipodean? I'll hang up and listen.

Santa Chiara: "Whip-smart alt-rock from the perspective of an Italian-born songwriter who made her home in America." If you willingly move to this wretched country from another and pursue your art honestly, you've got more fortitude than most.

Gene Scheer: "Librettist who has helped convert unique source material, from film to literature to nonfiction, into operas and song lyrics." "American Anthem" sure hits different!

Tony Stevens: "Canadian country singer gives music a second chance." Don't give up, y'all!

Mika Stoltzman: "Japanese multi-instrumentalist uniquely bridges jazz and classical with her primary instrument, the marimba." Truly cathedrals everywhere, etc.

Tasha: "Chicago-born singer, songwriter, and poet who draws joy out from under the darkness of the world." The playfulness and delicacy of "Perfect Wife," heard above, really stuck with me.

Thelma & James: "Married songwriters discover their best collaborators are each other, as a stirring Americana duo." Lowkey funny to realize your most effective creative partner is sleeping next to you several years into said sleeping situation.

Tiny Habits: "Respected acoustic folk-pop trio that puts vocal harmonies front and center." If the Croz is big-upping your harmonies, I'm going to pay attention. If Tony Berg produces you?? Make it a double.

Jeff Tyzik: "Celebrated trumpeter, pops conductor, and producer who's worked with luminaries from Chuck Mangione to Doc Severinsen." Another primo liner notes guy with a connection to one of the goated soft hits of the '80s.

Venamoris: "Unique dark pop duo from Slayer's founding drummer and his wife." Slayer is a band I'd argue for Rock and Roll Hall of Fame induction on a good day, and watching people in notable metal acts find new ways to do their thing intrigues me.

Vienna Vienna: "California artist who deems his cathartic take on alternative music 'glimmer rock.'" "Glimmer rock" is such a cool term, and "Vienna (Everything's Fine)" is one of the pre-eminent earworms of my tenure at Allmusic. What a chorus!

Mato Wayuhi: "Emotive South Dakotan who showcases multiple genres through the lens of his Lakota heritage, most notably on the soundtrack to Reservation Dogs." Another killer Native act! Reservation Dogs!

Rusty Williams: "The grandfather of Paramore's Hayley Williams releases a soft rock album more than 50 years after recording it." I mean, what more do I need to write to convince you?

Cameron Winter: "The frontman for indie darlings Geese has released a mystifying solo album." Being a critic is very different from writing about music. I don't know if people inherently know this, but I'm here to tell you it's true, because when I wrote this, Geese were starting to generate a pretty solid buzz on music sites. I dug what I heard, but at no time did I anticipate the end-of-year burst of saving-rock-and-r0ll proselytizing that even got Saturday Night Live to take notice. That's one of many reasons I don't consider myself a critic!

Finn Wolfhard: "Canadian actor shoots to fame in Stranger Things, then leverages his fame for multiple rock passion projects." We just gotta let this dude rock instead of being stuck in the '80s (The Replacements biopic he's reportedly co-writing and producing notwithstanding)!

Zolita: "Artist whose catchy alternative pop is heavily inspired by her queer, feminine identity – and anchored by an intricate patchwork of music videos." How many people are writing songs this strong and shooting videos this arresting at this scale? Under a thousand, maybe? I arranged this alphabetically, but this is the perfect note to end on, because it's the Allmusic experiment in a nutshell. For decades, it's been a website that augmented and enhanced my understanding and affection for music; now, I hopefully get to play a small part of that. Stuff like that gives a writer hope.