Ranking Steven Spielberg, Part 6: The Whole Beard
All the films from my favorite director, from least to most.
And so, after ranking Steven Spielberg's films by their five main decades, it's time to draw this Year of the Beard to a close and give you my definitive ranking of all of his cinematic endeavors. This time, I'm offering a basic logline (the plot), a short summation of my thoughts (the take), and a few moments that represent the best of what Spielberg does as a director: superior visual flair and deep human emotion (the scene). I hope you enjoy reading about these as much as I did watching them all—and maybe you'll be inspired to watch them for yourself.
- Twilight Zone: The Movie (Warner Bros., 1983) - ⭐️ 1/2 out of 5
The plot: An anthology film version of Rod Serling's immortal TV show taken by four of the hottest directors of the '80s.
The take: Twilight Zone: The Movie is pretty joyless on its own merits; Joe Dante and George Miller try valiantly, but can't save the picture. Steven's segment is exactly the kind of treacle he's accused of making constantly by simpletons, and would be the worst thing about the film if not for Landis' shocking recklessness.
The scene: None to speak of.
- Ready Player One (Warner Bros., 2018) - ⭐️⭐️
The plot: In a dystopian near-future, an average kid leads a virtual reality revolution while playing the nerdiest MMORPG in history.
The take: Even the only average Spielberg blockbusters have got some semblance of heart and craft. Not so for this dopey adaptation of Ernest Cline's turgid sci-fi novel, which is the closest thing the director will ever get to a Marvel movie. Game over, man.
The scene: Midway through, Steven breaks with the cold vastness of digital backgrounds and endless pop-cultural cameos with a surreal tribute to Kubrick's The Shining—a sequence that's not even in the book.
- Always (Universal, 1989) - ⭐️⭐️
The plot: In this remake of A Guy Named Joe, a daredevil firefighter pilot must guide a new man into his former flame's heart after he's killed in an accident.
The take: This uncomfortably sterile romance runs on fumes: a disquietingly beige performance by Richard Dreyfuss and not nearly as much magical footage of planes as Spielberg had just done. John Goodman deserved better.
The scene: It's marginally cool when Holly Hunter gets into a plane herself.
- 1941 (Universal, 1979) - ⭐️⭐️
The plot: In the aftermath of Pearl Harbor, chaos engulfs Hollywood across multiple plot lines, from a marauding troupe of kooky soldiers and a seriously cracked fighter pilot played by John Belushi, all the way to the cartoonish Axis powers trying to go for Round 2 on the mainland.
The take: Spielberg and his critics would be incorrect in dubbing this his worst movie—the oh-my-God-did-he-just ensemble cast and madcap energy can't doom it to the very bottom—but you'd be wise to watch this at only a respectable volume, lest you be fatigued once the engines sputter to a stop.
The scene: He was nuts to direct it himself instead of turn it over to a second unit, but the miniature work that plunges a Ferris wheel off of Santa Monica Pier is inspired.
- The Lost World: Jurassic Park (Universal, 1997) - ⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: Four years after Jurassic Park, Ian Malcolm (Jeff Goldblum) and a bevy of paleontologists and corporate rogues descend on a second island of prehistoric terrors.
The take: A dry retread dispenses with the spark between its human cast in favor of occasionally engaging dinosaur theatrics that don't hit quite as hard the second time around.
The scene: Anybody can have a T-rex rampage through San Diego, but who better than Spielberg could've perfected the tension of the pack of velociraptors stalking through tall grass?
- Something Evil (CBS, 1972) - ⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: A family's idyllic farmhouse is secretly buzzing with an evil power.
The take: The first of Spielberg's non-Duel TV movies has an exciting, raw version of the director's gift for pop tension, but it's certainly not as memorable as the one with the truck. As I've said before, though: an A24 remake of this would kill.
The scene: The film's climax was gripping, but I'm not sure anything would go into the demo reel.
- The BFG (Walt Disney, 2016) - ⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: An adaptation of Roald Dahl's novel about an orphan girl and the "big friendly giant" she follows into a mystical world.
The take: An occasionally inspired, frequently bizarre kid's film with some needless overtures toward E.T. cosplay, something Spielberg should know better than to try.
The scene: Early introductions to the titular BFG have some of that Spielberg sparkle.
- Savage (Universal Television, 1973) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: An unrealized pilot from the creators of Columbo follows Martin Landau's hard-nosed TV journalist investigating some crime.
The take: Spielberg's second TV movie is perhaps his most workmanlike project ever; by-the-book and certainly competent, but not particularly interesting.
The scene: The buzzy introductions of the newsroom (complete with a cameo by JAWS screenwriter Carl Gottlieb) sets up an energy that the rest of the film does not quite live up to.
- Bridge of Spies (DreamWorks/Touchstone, 2015) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: An honest American lawyer is assigned to defend a probable Russian spy and gets wrapped up in an even bigger incident when an American pilot is taken prisoner behind the Iron Curtain.
The take: Spielberg's go-to "serious" formula pitted One Good Man against a time of immoral, irrational history (the Holocaust, the Civil War, the Nixon administration). Bridge of Spies' version of that formula is unfortunately the most rote of them.
The scene: I love the tension when grad student Frederic Pryor gets stuck behind the newly-erected Berlin Wall, complemented when Tom Hanks' principled lawyer waits for Pryor's release by the Soviets before swapping their spy for downed U-2 pilot Francis Gary Powers.
- Amistad (DreamWorks, 1997) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: Adapted from historical events, this drama follows the international legal case involving the titular Spanish ship carrying slaves that mutinied against their captors.
The take: A stacked cast (Matthew McConaughey, Djimon Honsou, Morgan Freeman, Stellan Skarsgård, an Oscar-nominated Anthony Hopkins, the film debut of Chiwetel Ejiofor) can't always lift up a staid screenplay or Spielberg's continued shakiness telling a story driven by race relations in America.
The scene: Honsou's stand in court, transcending a towering language barrier with bellows of "Give us, us free," is particularly powerful.
- War Horse (DreamWorks/Touchstone, 2011) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: A moving adaptation of a novel-turned-stage play tracing a horse's bond with a British teen that spans across World War I.
The take: Spielberg's a master of interspecies bonding on film, but I was surprised that such a well-shot late-period work was as schmaltzy as his pre-Schindler "serious" work is sometimes (wrongly) deemed.
The scene: No contest—Joey's charge into no man's land during the Second Battle of the Somme is Spielberg at his finest visual flair.
- The Post (20th Century Fox/DreamWorks, 2017) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: A snappy account of The Washington Post's daring decision to publish excerpts from the "Pentagon papers," revealing untold depths of American interference in Vietnam.
The take: A bit bolder than most of Steven's Profiles in Courage pictures, thanks to the footwork of Tom Hanks, Meryl Streep and a stellar ensemble cast (including a fully unintentional Mr. Show reunion).
The scene: Streep gives a terrific Spielberg face, but the kinetic camera movement as the Post team dissects the papers in Ben Bradlee's house is the crackerjack moment.
- Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Paramount/Lucasfilm Ltd., 2008) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: Harrison Ford's aging archaeologist is caught up in a South American odyssey to retrieve another magical artifact...and maybe learn some more about family in the process?
The take: Even the least of Spielberg's Indy films has a lot of charm going for it, along with helpings of madcap George Lucas ideas—neither of which were prevalent in Dial of Destiny.
The scene: Whine all you want—the first 20 to 30 minutes are as killer as any set piece from the original three films. Even the fridge.
- The Color Purple (Warner Bros., 1985) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: A dramatic adaptation of Alice Walker's Pulitzer Prize-winning novel that made stars of comedian Whoopi Goldberg and future mogul Oprah Winfrey.
The take: While it's insane to call this Spielberg's first "serious" film (Close Encounters and E.T. can get heavy, y'all), it is the first time he does a drama like this, and despite what the late great Quincy Jones might have thought, he probably wasn't the right person to adapt this story. But it's a valiant effort.
The scene: As seemingly incongruous as it is to the heavy subject material, those early scenes of young Celie and Nettie explode off the screen with color. Oprah also earned her Best Supporting Actress nomination.
- Munich (Universal/DreamWorks, 2005) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: Following the execution of Israeli athletes at the 1972 Olympics, the Mossad plans a series of assassinations as revenge. Will the violent response solve anything?
The take: Thornier, knottier and more disturbing than most Spielberg pictures—and tragically relevant as the Israel-Palestine conflict tips ever further into genocidal territory—Munich suffers from a noncommittal both-sides viewpoint and a lengthy running time. But could you imagine the JAWS guy doing this in 1975?
The scene: Classic Spielbergian tension is the order of things when the assassins plan (and nearly fumble) a bombing in Paris.
- The Adventures of Tintin (Paramount/Nickelodeon/Columbia, 2011) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: A computer-animated, motion capture-assisted take on the intrepid adventurer created by Belgian comic artist Hergé.
The take: It's a mostly breezy Indiana Jones for kids that nails the visual style to some substance (and never looks as creepy as, say, The Polar Express).
The scene: Maybe it seems less impressive in CGI, but that late-film chase through a village that happens in one unbroken take is a classic Spielberg show-off.
- The Terminal (DreamWorks, 2004) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: Tom Hanks plays a traveler stuck in JFK Airport after a military coup in his homeland denies him entrance into either America or his Eastern European country of origin.
The take: Working better as a frothy character study than a meditation on the human condition, The Terminal soars on its cast, including stellar supporting turns by Stanley Tucci and rising stars Diego Luna and Zoë Saldana.
The scene: This film would be foolish to paint Hanks and Tucci as forces of nature for the whole duration...but when it does, and a desperate foreigner trying to save his dying father is caught in the middle, the results are nothing short of extraordinary.
- The Sugarland Express (Universal, 1974) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: A wayward ex-con couple lead a stranger-than-fiction police chase while pursuing the retrieval of their young child.
The take: While the film makes some decent overtures at saying something about glorifying the inglorious, Spielberg is too interested in making cool camera set-ups to pursue it the way one might want.
The scene: The drive through town is funny, poignant and prescient.
- Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade (Paramount/Lucasfilm Ltd., 1989) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: Indy's third adventure sees him questing after the Holy Grail but finding something even more significant: a rekindled relationship with his estranged father.
The take: The easy success of Harrison Ford and Sean Connery's team-up does a good job of obfuscating the fact that this is Raiders II, which Temple of Doom was wisely not.
The scene: For technicality, it's Indy's leap of faith. For comedy, it's the Jones boys' fiery escape from a Nazi castle.
- Amblin' (Sigma III Corp, 1968) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: A short film—Spielberg's first as an adult—about a pair of hitchhiking hippies.
The take: With no dialogue (he couldn't afford it), the young Spielberg proves what a whiz he is telling a story in pictures. A brilliant signal of greatness to come.
The scene: The montage of failed hitchhiking attempts and the olive pit spitting are particularly fun.
- Hook (TriStar, 1991) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: A neglectful father gets the most unique wake-up call of his life when he finds out his kidnapped children are in the clutches of an old foe from his forgotten childhood as the literary icon Peter Pan.
The take: Better than Spielberg thinks it is thanks to inspired production design and one of John Williams' best scores for one of the director's projects. Or maybe it's the millennial bias kicking in!
The scene: A flood of emotions when Robin Williams' Peter Banning recalls his happy thought and reclaims his destiny.
- War of the Worlds (DreamWorks/Paramount, 2005) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: H.G. Wells' classic novel filtered through Steven's most poignant trope: a father who has to step his game up for the good of the family (this time, lest they get vaporized by Martians).
The take: A visceral combination of popcorn spectacle and outright horror, anchored by a top-of-his-game Tom Cruise (who, you'll recall, spent the press tour for the film going insane).
The scene: Of course, the pods emerging is an easy choice (people laughed at Cruise's 9/11-inspired dust freakout when I first saw this, which was nuts), but I'd also point to the harrowing mob that converges on the van.
- Empire of the Sun (Warner Bros., 1987) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: Based on J.G. Ballard's autobiographical novel, Spielberg's first serious World War II film follows a British boy's coming of age as a prisoner of the Japanese forces.
The take: Perhaps Steven's most underrated drama, anchored by a command debut performance by Christian Bale. (Spielberg's ability to cast young talent is well-known, but his ability to cast talent early in their careers is less discussed.)
The scene: From jubilation to heartache on the wings of an American P-51 Mustang, the Cadillac of the skies.
- Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (Paramount/Lucasfilm Ltd., 1984) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: A prequel to Raiders of The Lost Ark finds Indiana Jones in a cartoonish hell as he seeks a sacred stone to return to an Indian village.
The take: Few agree, but this is the best follow-up to Raiders because it takes our beloved hero and puts him in a very different situation than he would get into in later films. B-movie excellence with A-list flair.
The scene: The slave children's uprising: killer action, John Williams at the top of his game, and—I'll say it—the hottest Harrison Ford has ever looked.
- Lincoln (DreamWorks/Touchstone, 2012) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: A laser-focused biopic of one of America's most pivotal presidents, detailing how he helped forge an end to slavery and the Civil War.
The take: Easily the best of the Profiles in Courage movies. A crackerjack cast featuring legends (Daniel Day-Lewis, Tommy Lee Jones, Sally Field) and upstarts (Jeremy Strong, Adam Driver, Walton Goggins) and a fine balance of aesthetic flair and narrative intent.
The scene: If only actual fucking presidents spoke with as much compassion for change as Day-Lewis does here. This was the first performance in a Spielberg film to win an Oscar, if you can believe it.
- A.I. Artificial Intelligence (Warner Bros./DreamWorks, 2001) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: Conceived by Stanley Kubrick and turned over to Spielberg (only one of three films he wrote and directed), an android boy goes to great lengths to find love and humanity in a society that seems to have forgotten both.
The take: This was the one I was wrongest about from initial watch to rewatch—my 13-year-old self could not see this as a minor, difficult-to-watch masterpiece, but my late-30s counterpart, dreaming of a world where love conquers all, can.
The scene: Next to E.T., the most bittersweet ending in Spielberg's filmography.
- Duel (Universal Television, 1971) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: An everyman makes the worst traffic decision of his life.
The take: A mere TV movie becomes something far different in Steven's ambitious grip—an experiment in breathtaking action and suspense.
The scene: The car-on-car tension is perfect, but briefly taking things to another level? That's that Spielberg magic.
- Jurassic Park (Universal, 1993) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: Based on Michael Crichton's bestselling novel, a blockbuster sci-fi epic that brought dinosaurs to the big screen in ways no one could have imagined.
The take: While I don't hold it in quite the esteem that many do (I certainly don't see it as a top five, sorry!), I'm certainly not blind to its magic. I just think Spielberg did it better elsewhere. But it's still great! I'm not stupid!
The scene: Don't let the deserved love for the T-rex's scenes take away from the brilliance of velociraptors in the kitchen.
- Catch Me If You Can (DreamWorks, 2002) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: Whether it was itself a fake true story or not, the young, brilliant check forger pursued by a dogged FBI man makes for a hell of a tale.
The take: A light period caper makes for Spielberg's fizziest film. He'd made two films in a year five times: 1989, 1993, 1997, this year and 2011, and Catch Me If You Can (and the preceding film, down a few spots here) makes 2002 the best of his two-fers.
The scene: Leo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks should've done this more.
- Saving Private Ryan (DreamWorks/Paramount, 1998) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: Just after the invasion of Normandy during World War II, a ragtag unit is tasked with rescuing one of their own—the last of four brothers, the others of whom were killed in action.
The take: A harrowing but honorable war picture, using the tricks of cinema to attempt to cultivate a respect for the lives so mindlessly lost.
The scene: The big opening and closing battles have had plenty of attention. Less discussed, but just as effective, is the team's first big loss of Carpazo, the soldier portrayed by an up-and-comer who called himself Vin Diesel.
- West Side Story (20th Century Studios, 2021) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 1/2
The plot: Arguably the greatest American musical of all time, Spielberg-style.
The take: He wanted to do a musical and by God he did a musical. The who'd-have-thought misstep of casting the dull and likely problematic Ansel Elgort in the lead can't even mess things up too much when stars like Rachel Zegler and Mike Faist are being made in real time. Lenny and Stephen are smiling.
The scene: Just try not to smile here. I clapped in the theater!
- The Fabelmans (Universal, 2022) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: An introspective film à clef offering a Rosetta stone into nearly every one of Spielberg's life events, interests and thematic pursuits.
The take: With seemingly nothing to prove, this warm semi-autobiography reaffirms him as a master of popular cinema. If you know his movies a lot or a little, you'll find some insight about artistry here.
The scene: Another contender for greatest Spielberg ending.
- Schindler's List (Universal, 1993) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: The true story of a wealthy Nazi sympathizer who made a change toward humanity, ultimately saving some 1,100 Jews from execution in the Holocaust.
The take: The secret to effective Spielberg drama isn't taking away his technical precision; it's using it to depict the worst horrors of humanity and the roses that dare to grow out of concrete. A stirring and enigmatic picture.
The scene: Schindler and Stern are both right: he could have done more, but he did so much.
- Minority Report (20th Century Fox/DreamWorks, 2002) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: Adapted from a Philip K. Dick short story, a futuristic detective is put to the test when the system he uses to predict crimes pins him as a soon-to-be-murderer.
The take: One of Spielberg's most visually arresting movies, and perhaps the best balance of technical flair and social commentary in his filmography—a happy accident just months after 9/11.
The scene: Eyes...the window into the soul, or a portal to surveillance hell?
- Close Encounters of the Third Kind (Columbia, 1977) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: Quintessential Spielbergian awe is at the fore of this sci-fi epic he wrote and directed, featuring the first alien visitation he committed to film.
The take: Not just a UFO flick, but a meditation on the transformation of faith and a beautiful declaration of faith in the goodness that could be ready to greet us from beyond our known world. Incredibly underrated, as crazy as that sounds.
The scene: Steven's dad was a pioneering electrical engineer and his mother was a concert pianist. He brilliantly put them together in pursuit of extraterrestrial contact.
- JAWS (Universal, 1975) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: Taken from Peter Benchley's bestseller, a New England beach town is torn apart (literally and figuratively) by a marauding great white shark.
The take: By all accounts should have been a failure—over schedule, over budget, and the fake fish barely worked. Instead, Spielberg's drive and keen cinematic senses created a modern pop classic that's been imitated endlessly for 50 years.
The scene: Watch the movie with someone who's never seen it and get ready for this classic. Or just remember how you felt when this happened.
- Raiders of The Lost Ark (Paramount/Lucasfilm, 1981) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: A spin on '30s serials starring Harrison Ford as the archetypal hero Indiana Jones, a role that's defined a good chunk of his career.
The take: It's nearly impossible to say if this or JAWS is the more effective blockbuster. But this is just too damn fun. Have you ever seen this with an audience? You really should. It'll change your whole take on movies, maybe.
The scene: It rocks.
- E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial (Universal, 1982) - ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The plot: A lonely boy, an alien stranded on Earth and one of the most deeply felt love stories of all time.
The take: It's Spielberg at his purest and most perfect, balancing the wonder of visual arts with a passionate interest in what it means to love and care for a being. When both those Spielbergian factors are running as smoothly as they are here, it's hard to go wrong.
The scene: The scene. My favorite ever committed to film. Perfection from start to finish. I hope these make you believe in magic.